Gabriel Baggio Birthday


Do you know that word means? It means Gabe.

Inscrutable, I think, means hard to read.

Gabe’s an inscrutable dude.

You look at him, and you have no idea what’s going on up there. Those bright, beautiful Brazilian eyes? They reveal nothing.

Gabe could be happy, or sad, or just kinda bored, and I wouldn’t be able to tell.

That’s why Gabe’s jokes are so brilliant. Because his manner reveals nothing. You really have to listen to him. He won’t drop any hints as to his true intentions. His voice? Flat. His face? Inscrutable.

But ever so often, he’ll drop an absolute gem into the conversation. A suggestion, a sentence, a word that makes you go “Wait. What did you just say?” 

He’s the closest thing we’ve got to Louis C.K.

I saw a video once, about Louis C.K., titled Louis C.K. is a Moral Detective. Well if Louis C.K. is a moral detective, then so is Gabe. Because Gabe’s humour isn’t  about making people laugh. It’s more about exploring the outer reaches of the weird butplausible.

Was that offensive, you think to yourself. I don’t know?

And then you cackle.

Gabe, come back soon man. We miss you. We miss your inscrutable silences, and pitch-black humour. We miss your skills on the football field.

And most of all, we miss that glint in your eyes, that look you get, usually around 3:15 in the morning, right after two shots and one handle pull.

That delightfully malevolent glitter, which suggests: things are about to get weird.


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